The Improbable Foes
by Nate Sprague
Summary: Another day for Batman, patrolling Gotham from his rooftops, suddenly turns into an improbable new tale to tell.
1. Episode 1 - The Red Varnished Man

**EPISODE 1 - The Red Varnished Man**

With his lightless cape brimming in the so, subtle wind, he looked over Gotham City. He thought about what he had done to this City, and what he attempted to accomplish of it. He then wonders into the thought of The Joker, remembering his very, "criminal" death. _"Alfred, I'm going to patrol Gotham real quick for any crime, keep track"_. Shaking his head in disgust, but not pity, he jumps off of the building he was crouching on and shot his Line Launcher onto another building, then zipping, and gliding to the ground. The Batman then proceeded to walk in the direction he landed towards, walking passed multiple people, without them even noticing his gloomy, black body.

He soon ended up back on the rooftops, scanning the ground levels for all and any crime. Looking up once again across the Gotham Skyline, he started to feel disgust, when out of nowhere, he could see the Bat Signal highlighted into the sky. Batman then proceeds to call into Alfred, mumbling, _"Alfred, scratch the patrol, I see the Bat Signal, but keep track"_. Batman immediately jumps off the building, and soars across the sky using his glider, as the raging wind fought his body. Dodging obstacles, using his grapple when he needed it, and gliding is all Batman needed to do to get to his destination.

As he was flying, he finally noticed an open path to the Bat Signal, so he closed his eyes to relax as he flew, knowing nothing would happen. Batman thought too soon. Suddenly, a bullet zoomed right through Batman's glider. Steering himself, trying to keep control, Batman pulled out his grapple as fast as he could, and shot at the nearest building. His legs crashed against the wall, making him lose stability. He then crashed into a metal staircase from the side of his head first, then he lands on top of car back first, crushing it.

Yelling in pain, Batman slowly gets up from the rubble, attempting to call Alfred. After Batman touches the side of his helmet to push the caller, a shock bursts through his hand. Batman mumbles to himself, "How can this get any worse. Falling out of the sky, now my communicator is gone". Batman starts running towards the direction of the bullet shot, as Batman already knew that that's what it was that made a hole through his glider. Batman suddenly stops running, hearing rustling off to the corner next to him.

Batman slowly crouches his way up to the wall's corridor, and peaks his head over into the alley. He quickly moves his head back into his alley. Batman thinks over who it could of possibly been that he just saw. Batman thinks in his head, "Red, full body suit, and a metal, glossy helmet". Batman reaches onto his utility belt and pulls out two smoke bombs, then immediately throwing them down into the alley beside him. Hearing the two pops, Batman quickly runs in, kicking his foot against the right wall, and kicking himself onto the left, then boosting himself up high, then attempting to land right on top of the mystery man.

He hits the ground beneath him hard, only hitting the pavement below him. Batman looks around confused, as a large metal barrel gets pushed against the back of his head. "World's Greatest Assassin, tricked World's Greatest Detective. Ha!". Batman immediately notices the voice. "Deadshot". Batman silently reaches his hand above to his belt, and presses a button. An electric current gets sent through Batman's suit, striking Deadshot's barrel, then the electric current runs through the gun onto Deadshot, making him hit the ground unconscious.

Batman immediately turns around, looking at Deadshot's body on the ground, and he walks away. As Batman continues to walk, he hears a voice come from behind him. Batman instantly stops, and turns around, walking back to Deadshot. "Deadshot, come in. This is CN Black Widow, come in". Batman then gets a puzzled look on his face. "Black Widow"? Batman picks up the walkie-talkie that the voice comes out of. He stares down attentively at it. He raises his fist up, and smashes it. A small chip falls down from the smash, but Batman catches is with his other hand before it even got far from the walkie-talkie.

Batman takes the chip, and takes out his Bat-Tracer. Inserting the chip into the tracer, he then sees where this... "Black Widow", is located. Batman thinks to himself, *Northeast of here. Huh, that's the worse part of town. Typical". Batman looks up to see a large cage, with Deadshot's body leaning against it. Batman jumps over the cage with no effort, and grapples away, in the once again, subtle air.


	2. Episode 2 - Fighting Fire with Fire

**EPISODE 2 - Fighting Fire with Fire**

Batman's feet hit the earth quieter than an ant sneaks, right in front of the door leading to this, "Black Widow's location. Batman inspects the door in front of him, as his cape quietly drifts in the wind. Batman touches the handle of the door and twists it, opening it. He slowly walked in, more dark than night itself. He guides his arm behind his cape, and pulls out his tracking device, looking at the red dot which was supposedly Black Widow. Batman thinks to himself, _"The dot is stationary, so she could be at a computer, which sounds reasonable"._

Batman quietly puts his tracker back in his utility belt, and crouches. He slowly begins to crouch his way to the dot's location. Finally arriving to his destination, he hears typing of keys in the next room. _"I knew it. This Black Widow is just the Oracle for Deadshot"._ He quietly touches the doorknob, then oh so gently turns it, until it opens, with only making a hint of noise. As he slowly walks into the room, seeing a large chair in front of him and computer monitors, he leaves the door open behind him. He slowly escorts himself to right behind the chair. Batman then quickly goes for the mouth cover and strangle, attempting to make the person at the computer pass out from a lack of oxygen, without the noise.

To Batman's surprise, his arms only hit the smooth leather of the chair. _"But I heard typing, she-"_Batman instantly feels something wrap around his neck, and he gets thrown towards the wall, hitting it hard, then falling to the ground. He quickly gets up and faces his attacker. He looks up, gawking at the sight of this Black Widow, seeing as it is actually a woman. Batman conceives to himself, _"She must have disguised her voice when talking through the walkie-talkie, so she couldn't be found easily."_

Batman stands up, and glares into Black Widow's eyes, as her mouth begins to move. _"Finally, I've fou-"_ , but before she could finish, Batman replies in a deep, eerie voice, _"I suppose you're this, 'Black Widow'. Why did you send Deadshot after me. I've already handled him."_ Black Widow speaks once more, "He was merely a toy, which I sent only to get your attention. You're a hard... bat to find". Batman quickly retorts, "I don't take business calls. I'm leaving". Batman begins to walk towards the door, but gets stopped by a kick in his back.

Batman only gets pushed forward a little, quickly looking back and sending a strong jab at Black Widow. She dodges it, then sending a punch of her own at Batman. Batman easily grabs the arm before it reaches him, he then raises his elbow into her chest, then proceeding to raise his knee. As she was hit back, Batman stops her, grabbing her arm. He lunges her towards him, then hitting her face with the back of his palm, making her hit the ground hard. She quickly gets up, staring at Batman in the mystical eyes.

Batman raises his arms in a T formation, raising his cape with it. Batman yells, "YAH!", distracting her, then he sends both arms in a half-circular fashion towards the sides of her head. Making impact, he follows it up with a strong punch to her gut. Black Widow falls to her knees in mercy. She pants out the words, "I w-was only seeking... assistance. Ag-against a strong force". Batman looks at her with a very bitter face, as he snaps, "I have my own enemies, my own list! I don't pickup other peoples' messes!".

Black Widow looks down at chest in pain. She then looks back up, and all she saw was a closed door.


End file.
